just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Randomize
