Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
