He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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