Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I think my fart just growled at me.
Welp...herpes.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
