as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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