is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
