the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
