didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Randomize
