Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
