The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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