Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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