I CAN MOONWALK!
well I can't set my house on fire every night
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
