I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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