Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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