i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
