No awkward lesbian experiences without me
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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