So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
