Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
