Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
