dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
