So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
