did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
