Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
They are going to name an STD after you.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
