It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
