:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
