Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Randomize
