lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
