Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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