Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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