I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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