So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
