you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
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