Who did Billy Mays play for?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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