I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
