I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
ugly people sure do ruin things
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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