Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
