So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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