This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
