how hairy? two words: wookie tits
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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