i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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