you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
