I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
