Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
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