it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
