i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
