so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
