I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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