problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I can't put those talents on a resume
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
