Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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