I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
