So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think your dad took our porno
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
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