This is not my ceiling
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
